To vacuumity and beyond

Tracey the partner has finally had enough. Of the old infirm vacuum cleaner that is. So yours truly was despatched post haste to the shop - or at least the virtual equivalent, whatever did we shopping hating males do before t'internet?
I know lots of people swear by their Dysons (to even have an opinion about a vacuum cleaner seems a little dodgy to me, but I'll come back to that later) but I think they'd have to do the cleaning themselves and make me a cup of tea to be worth the money a Dyson would set you back, so I was looking at something a little cheaper, say about £100-150.
Enter the Samsung er.. something or other (look, I don't know what flippin' model it is, unless it's got a cuddly name like "Sucky Bunny" or some such how am I supposed to remember?), same type of swirly technology and a five year - yes, that's right, FIVE years - full warranty, all for the princely sum of £129.99 with free delivery.
Now back to the geekiness of having an opinion about a vacuum cleaner. When I opened the box, I was greeted by.... a vacuum cleaner. OK, bit of an anti climax.
Let's rewind a bit and add some happening music; how about the theme from 2001 - A Space odyssey?

Right, when I opened the box, I was greeted by - Dah. - Dah. - Dah. -- DADAH!
A vision in shiny black, a cross between a Sony Walkman, a Maserati and the Starship Enterprise. Actually it looks a bit like the designer has said "Let's make it look like a Maserati", and the company Accountant replies "Too expensive. Can't you just ram it into a Playstation box? No-one'll know the difference". Yes, that's it, it's a game console, complete with Blue LED graphics and remote control. Yes, you heard me, remote control!

I could blah blah on about it's suction wattage, and its decibels etc.etc. but - remote control! What more is there to say?
Oh yeah, and it nags you when it's full. Just like our washing machine nags us when it wants to be emptied.
Bizarrely, and rather ironically, I've heard that Playstation 3's are rather good at gathering dust (due to their static properties - I'm not implying that nobody switches them on), so maybe I've hit on something important. QED, or in this case QVC!

celebrity culture - a new low

The Devil's publicity machine rolls on: we've had Jade's death, we've had Jordan's response (What dya mean, I can't pretend I'm dying? So how about I divorce the appendage?), we've seen "SuBo" turn from a plain, frumpy nutter to a famously plain, frumpy nutter who will be $8m better off if the US tour goes ahead (or somebody will be, she'll probably be detained under Section 3 of The Mental health Act). One would think Satan couldn't think up any worse for humanity, well never underestimate the evilness-ness of Lucifer and his PR hordes.

Check out the Cyrus family's latest moneyspinner: Miley's (she of the bad songs, claims of bisexuality and race hatred) bug-eyed little sister Noah.


I can't quite put my finger on why this leaves such an unpleasant taste in my mouth.
Is it because these two children are dressed as prostitutes?
Is it Noah's lollipop head?
Or is it because it looks like the Red Bull advert the company didn't want you to see?
No, it's because it made me throw up!

This is the worst, most depressing example of what is wrong with this world. Not only does it make acceptable the sexualisation of children, it also promotes crass consumerism, making chidren think that the wearing of high fashion is not only ok, but a necessity. Not to mention Red bull abuse - she looks like she's about to go into caffeine meltdown! Oh, and who's peddling this kiddy porn by any other name? None other than Disney! You can make up your own mind over whether Disney is the Devil's own corporation, I'm not prepared to comment given the relationship between lawyers and the powers of darkness.


Do you think Noah (or Noie as she likes to call herself - WTF?) and her cousin Emily Grace Reaves (Ems) are cute and lovely? If so you can comment here.

They look like future prime candidates for Celebrity Rehab to me; just give me something heavy to throw at them.
BTW, talking of heavy: Ems, you've got a bit of a paunch in some of those swimsuit photos love, time to lose a few pounds, or Miss Lollipop Head won't want to be seen with you in public.